Verdict
Summary
Reindeer Games meets From Dusk Till Dawn, Silent Bite is a nicely shot, but ultimately incredibly boring indie feature that takes its sweet time getting interesting. The film itself looks incredibly slick with very colorful, festive production design, and so it’s a shame the movie itself never quite achieves any sort of liftoff.
Plot:
A gang of thieves shore up at a small hotel on Christmas Eve and run into a couple of sexy female vampires.
Review:
After robbing a bank with code names of Christmas time icons (Santa Claus, the Grinch, snowman, Rudolph, etc.), a gang of thieves shack up in a small hotel on a cold, snowy Christmas Eve to bide their time before making their big getaway. Their leader is the exceptionally hard-edged “Father Christmas” (foul-mouthed Simon Phillips), and the weak link in the gang is the super intelligent but inexperienced “Prancer” (Luke Avoledo), and over the course of the long night before Christmas, the crew do their best to avoid boredom, which leads the guys to the indoor swimming pool … where a couple of giggly female vampires are just waiting for their next meal to arrive. The vampire queen Lilith (Sayla de Goede) has a female prisoner strapped to a chair in a room nearby, and her ultimate plan is to perform the ultimate sacrilege by turning her into a bloodsucker by midnight on Christmas, but when the bank robbers interrupt her plan, it’s going to be a “silent bite” indeed.
Reindeer Games meets From Dusk Till Dawn, Silent Bite is a nicely shot, but ultimately incredibly boring indie feature that takes its sweet time getting interesting. I was paying close attention, and if I’m not mistaken not a single trigger was pulled in the entire movie, making this an action-free zone, but instead the thieves figure out that ultraviolet light does a better job at killing the vampires off than bullets do. The film itself looks incredibly slick with very colorful, festive production design, and so it’s a shame the movie itself never quite achieves any sort of liftoff. It’s bad guys versus worse gals, and set at Christmas, and so why isn’t it fun? Filmmaker Taylor Martin appears in an early liquor store scene.
Cleopatra’s Blu-ray release of Silent Bite comes with a trailer and an image gallery. The film is also available as a DVD. It’s affordably priced to own.
